Game Over

“Heartbreaker, you got the best of me
But I just keep on coming back incessantly
Oh why, did you have to run your game on me
I should have known right from the start
You'd go and break my heart” – Mariah Carey, Heartbreaker.

A few weeks ago, a classmate sent me the YouTube video for Heartbreaker, alleging that, in most of his relationships with women, he either found himself running game on a girl or getting game run on him.* We then discussed his rationale for such limited variations in such relationships. To no surprise, he said, “you never know if you’re…sure. Like make sure she’s into you, you gotta do stuff to control, and you wanna know what else is out there, you know, you wanna keep your options open, but you kinda wanna keep the door closed.” Hmm, pretty standard answer for such an inquiry. But, why does this pattern persist? How do you gauge if things are real or if it’s just the game?

So I bring this up not to put my buddy on blast, but this benign conversation started to replay itself in my mind (I also watched the video a few times, and am watching it now). I mean, we’ve all experienced this, not just in romantic relationships, but with relationships in general. Got played? Well, yeah, maybe. Unsure of what’s going on with your BFF? Suspect her gossiping about you? Are you gossiping about her? How often do we wonder if there’s something else out there, if we’re sure that we’re being loved, or if we’re in control? How often are we the heartbreaker?

For me, Mariah’s been singing about my relationship with Jesus better than Hillsongs. I’m afraid He’s been running game on me, but I’ve been running game on Him. When I started school in the fall and felt like I was falling on the same bruise over and over again, I was certain that Jesus put me here just to stay thirsty and suffer through this decision. And yet, I ran game on Him, certain that I was going to fail, unable to accept the uncertainty of faith that He put me here not to . Like my classmate, I didn’t see any signs of assurance, I wanted to see other options, and I wanted to take control of the chaotic situation rather than see it as calmness in the storm. I failed because I let the vicious cycle of piss poor relationships without Jesus impact my relationship with Jesus. I wasn’t willing to truly accept His assurance to affirm me, or lose control…

This weekend, we celebrated what He did that no one can do. It has nothing to do with playing any games, or any heartbreaking, but filling our broken hearts that have been emptied from running the game.

"I find no basis for a charge against this man…He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One." – Luke 23:4, 35

“We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong. Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom. Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." – Luke 23:41-43.

*(Unfortunately or fortunately, none of them ended in a chick fight or cold soda poured on his crotch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKQOTnWb9GU).

[Note (to my dear philosophers out there): this analogy is not meant to offend and not meant to be taken to its absolute “logical conclusion”.]

-E.M.